Dickson

Dear Dicky Poo,

Hey haven’t heard from me in a while have you. I haven’t talked to you in about 3 years now… how have you been? I hope you’ve been doing well; actually I’m pretty sure you’re doing well because well you’re you. And yea you being you is supposed to explain a lot because for some reason you’re able to get almost everyone to love you, doesn’t matter if it’s teachers, kids, old people, friends everyone always ends up loving you. Including me.

So that shouldn’t have been something new to you because of my fail confession back in Grade eight a couple of weeks (or was it days?) before I was going to leave. Truthfully I liked you since about in grade six I think? When you would make me mad that resulted in me chasing you all around the school. (I guess you could call it childhood romance?) Then it grew into me caring about what you thought about me, when I heard that you didn’t like me for some reason or another I tried to change myself so that you would like me better. Then finally after two years I could finally call you my friend.

Maybe the way we became friends wasn’t ideal, me consoling you about breaking up with my best friend. But can you blame me? I thought maybe if we were friends then my stupid crush could stop. But that didn’t happen. The more I got to know you the more I liked you, soon enough I could say that I was in love. And no joke I seriously was that whole heart fluttering when you get closer, not knowing what to say when you’re around me, the whole nine yards. But that didn’t bother our friendship did it? That didn’t mess with when I gave you honest and good advice for what to do for your girlfriend at the time when we were having those conversations at night that would go hours upon hours. It didn’t matter that I had these feelings for you as long as we were friends that was enough for me. And yea I loved it when we were best friends. I miss that, so much.

So the moment I knew I was in love? It was simple actually. Remember that time we were doing that project at your house? I don’t actually remember what class it was for, I just remember you doing a lot of the work while I watched tv (thanks again for that I’m pretty sure we got a good mark for that project). We were done and waiting for my mom to come pick me up and we were across from each other on different couches. And then you just lied down and smiled at me. At that moment I wanted time to stop. So yea that was it, a simple smile added onto years of developing feelings was all it took. All it took for me to love you, all it took for me to decide to continue being for you whatever would make you happy.

But that doesn’t mean you had to take advantage of the fact I would do anything for you. You didn’t have to tell me about all your girl problems, you didn’t have to let me help you whenever you got into trouble with them. Even though I was willing you could have turned around and looked at the person who was helping you all that time even for just a second. You didn’t have to just treat me as a friend who you would never even consider liking. You didn’t have to lead me on and call me baby when there was no meaning behind it. But I can’t blame anyone but myself, I knew that you were like that. I knew who you were since the beginning but I still decided to get closer to you knowing I would probably get hurt in the end.

So here’s something I found on facebook that describes my feelings exactly:

“Hi. Remember me? You used to smile when you say me, hug me for no reason, talk to me without any conditions and love me for who I was. I miss that.”

I know that this is supposed to describe people who were dating, but it fits our situations perfectly doesn’t it? So once again, can you blame me for loving you when you were giving me signals that that?

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget you, even though you’ve probably already forgotten about me. But that doesn’t mean I can’t hope to forget about you one day.

Sincerely,

Kat

By the way. I addressed him as Dicky Poo because well his name is Dickson Poon so yea, that's what I used to call him. And this letter is really scattered because that's just how I talk when it's about him. The confession that I talked about in the letter actually took about an hour with me going in circles and then even after I told him he thought I was talking about someone else because I don't know even when typing I get tounge tied when it comes to him.